something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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