My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So vagazzling was a success
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
