I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
