And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
