You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
