You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
