there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
