fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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