apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
