I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize