I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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