I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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