i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
