Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
