Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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