I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
