im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
