If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize