OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
