I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think people are normalizing furries
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
