Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
