The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
