Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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