Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
