My hand turned me down
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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