yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
