Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
