Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
