Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
