just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
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I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Will exercising make me less horny?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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