I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just cut my nipple shaving
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
