I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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