A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
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As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
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Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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