so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize