I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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