its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
