Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
