Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
