Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
