Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's never too late to be topless.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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