Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
