Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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