Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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