Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
