I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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