What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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