just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize