U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
