spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
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