Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
