you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
