what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
