dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize