it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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