dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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