I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
