he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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