I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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