He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
