well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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