Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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